Eleven Ways Owning Parrots has Changed Me.

Owning parrots has changed me and my life – in some ways for the better, and (in the view of some, anyway), many ways not. Here is a reflection of how my life has morphed:

1. Learning to forgo make-up. I could spend that time putting on make-up, or I could fill those foraging toys/chop veggies/Hoover the floor. Yeah. Obvious.
2. Bird clothes? That’s my entire wardrobe. I once envisioned having a few sets of old, well-worn clothes for when the birds were out. Ha. My entire wardrobe actually consists of chewed-up, pooped-on articles. Having nice clothes for me now counts as possessing a clean hoodie, and jeans with no visible holes.
3. I find joy in watching something expensive be destroyed. Once upon a time, I looked at the cute bird toys I’d spent so much money on, and thought, ‘What a shame this is going to be debris by tomorrow.’ Now, I’m immensely proud of those expensive wood chips, as it means my parrots are happy and healthy, enjoying what I gave them.
4. I appreciate those vegetable splatters on the wall. It means the birds are eating well.
5. I know multiple ways to escape-proof a cage. Bungee cords, padlocks, industrial-strength zip-ties, and lengths of chain all work moderately well.
6. Making a fool of myself became a necessity. In order to teach the flock to have fun, I had to let go of my pride. Singing, shouting, and dancing shamelessly alongside them, well, that’s the new normal.
7. What? Can’t hear you! My hearing is probably damaged from the rambunctious state of my home, but I don’t mind. I’ll take loud, joyful parrots over quiet ones.
8. Quiet is suspicious. I used to value quiet time, when it came. Now I check, because it inevitably means someone is doing something they’re not supposed to.
9. The plastic aglets on shoe and hoodie strings are not necessary for life. Seriously. Don’t stress over them. They make a great toy, though.
10. I don’t buy nice stuff anymore. Instead, I test what I’m buying for durability. Will it withstand the initial onslaught of parrot beaks? How many ways can they dismantle this?
11. Nothing is purely mine anymore. It belongs to Maverick, Ptak, and Mishka… But mostly Maverick.

An example of my pyjama wardrobe.

Happy New Year, friends! Stay safe, and remember that the bustle of holidays can be stressful for birds, so be sure to take extra care.